Thirty something...

There is something about being in my thirties that puts me in a comfort zone. For the  first time in my life I am comfortable in my own skin...its definitely something that comes with age. My teens sucked...I was so awkward and angry. Awkward because I had all the normal insecurities that come with being a teenager and also because I moved more than a fugitive. Angry because I was a product of divorce, home life wasn't a Oprah show topic but it wasn't a Christmas special either. My early years weren't stable...my mom had a knack for "relocating" and I made cameos in public schools statewide. My point is moving around so much caused me to become detached, a social misfit if you will. We finally set anchor in a small town in Long Island where I was able to establish friendships and relationships. For the first time in my life, I felt like I belonged to something...so much so, my social life came before anything, even school. I had the potential but I lacked the enthusiasm. I graduated by the skin of my teeth or the grace of God. My early twenties repeated my earlier years and I floated around like a zombie.I have to say I didn't "find"  myself till I was about 27. Better late than never!! At 27 I finally got a sense of self. I was living on my own in my purchased one bedroom coop in the chic neighborhood of Astoria, Queens. I enjoyed myself for a good 4 yrs before I unexpectedly became smitten by my husband and his old school charm. Being married nearly 3yrs with a 2yr old little girl and trying for our second (fun! fun!) puts life into perspective. My husband and my child are my most prized possessions. They are my biggest assets. Life to me isn't measured by what you have achieved scholarly or what you possess materialistically. If you have family and love then you've got it all! All my life Ive tried to achieve things for the sake of saying "I did that!" but in the end, on your tombstone its not going to list all your achievements and possessions, it will say your name, how long your stay on this earth was and who loves and will miss you. My point is at the end of the day, family is whats important. I thank God for blessing me with a wonderful man who is as good a husband as he is a father, and a little girl who came into this world all of a sudden but pulled through and amazes me everyday! Life definitely is a beautiful struggle and for some it may not even be so pretty but we only get one chance on this earth...make the most out of it. I have lived my life and at the age of 34 I'm still living it. My cup isn't full but Im no longer thirsty.